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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Death
Give
Manual
Wells
Manuals
Might
Als
Well
Rays
Giving
Democrats
Democrat
Vote

More quotes by John Oliver

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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
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It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
John Oliver