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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Florida
Shaped
Combination
Gun
Doesn
Mean
Way
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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