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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Gun
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Mean
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Florida
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More quotes by John Oliver
I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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