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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Way
Like
Florida
Shaped
Combination
Gun
Doesn
Mean
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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