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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Way
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Florida
Shaped
Combination
Gun
Doesn
Mean
More quotes by John Oliver
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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