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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Democracy
Everyone
Like
Tambourine
Trusted

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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
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