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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Tambourine
Trusted
Democracy
Everyone
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More quotes by John Oliver
Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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