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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Laugh
Exactly
Choose
Laughing
Learn
Make
People

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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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