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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Company
High
Boyfriends
Getting
Effective
School
Companies
Much
Drug
Like
Concerned
Inside
Bits

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Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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