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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
High
Boyfriends
Getting
Effective
School
Companies
Much
Drug
Like
Concerned
Inside
Bits
Company

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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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