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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Anybody
Fool
Probably
Sociopath
April
Fools
Claims
Excited
More quotes by John Oliver
My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
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