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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Anybody
Fool
Probably
Sociopath
April
Fools
Claims
Excited
More quotes by John Oliver
I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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