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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Like
Comes
People
Tell
America
Wells
Come
Exactly
Well
England
Think
Known
Thinking
Everyone

More quotes by John Oliver

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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
John Oliver
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
John Oliver
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
John Oliver
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
John Oliver
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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