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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Think
Known
Thinking
Everyone
Like
Comes
People
Tell
America
Wells
Come
Exactly
Well
England

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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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