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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Hecklers
Constructive
Destructive
Kinds
Two
Kind
More quotes by John Oliver
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
John Oliver
Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
John Oliver
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
John Oliver
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
John Oliver
It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
John Oliver
I would hate to meet myself at 15.
John Oliver
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
John Oliver
It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
John Oliver
I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
John Oliver
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
John Oliver
Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
John Oliver
Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
John Oliver
