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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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John William Oliver
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Sustained
Cannot
Voted
Would
Romney
World
Massive
Concussion
Absolutely
Concussions
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Emphatically
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Mitt
More quotes by John Oliver
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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