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I would hate to meet myself at 15.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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Would
Meet

More quotes by John Oliver

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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
John Oliver
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
John Oliver
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
John Oliver
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
John Oliver
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
John Oliver
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
John Oliver
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
John Oliver
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
John Oliver
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
John Oliver
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
John Oliver
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
John Oliver
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
John Oliver
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
John Oliver
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
John Oliver
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
John Oliver
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
John Oliver
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
John Oliver