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I would hate to meet myself at 15.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Hate
Would
Meet

More quotes by John Oliver

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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
John Oliver