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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Seems
Objectively
Done
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Conceive
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Terrifying
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Frightening
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More quotes by John Oliver

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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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