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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Many
Aggression
Made
Passive
Kind
Staring
People
Active
Somewhere
Memory
Angry
Blur
Memories
Unpleasant

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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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