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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Fight
Name
Names
Fighting
Someone
Strangled
Bare
Minimum
Bars

More quotes by John Oliver

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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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