Quote

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.

John Oliver

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Someone
Strangled
Bare
Minimum
Bars
Fight
Name
Names
Fighting

More quotes by John Oliver

Image
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
Image
When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
John Oliver
Image
I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
John Oliver
Image
It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
John Oliver
Image
Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
John Oliver
Image
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
Image
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
Image
I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
John Oliver
Image
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
Image
My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
John Oliver
Image
Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
John Oliver
Image
Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
John Oliver
Image
Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
John Oliver
Image
I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
John Oliver
Image
People are friendlier in New York than London.
John Oliver
Image
I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
John Oliver
Image
Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
John Oliver
Image
News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
John Oliver
Image
Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
Image
I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
John Oliver