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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Names
Fighting
Someone
Strangled
Bare
Minimum
Bars
Fight
Name

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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
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Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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