Quote

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Words
Language
Two
Featuring
Sting
Neutrality
Boredom
English
Promise

More quotes by John Oliver

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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
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