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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Queens
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Whatever
Demonstrably
Faces
Occasion
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Royal
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Queen
More quotes by John Oliver
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
John Oliver
Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
John Oliver
I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
John Oliver
I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
John Oliver
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
John Oliver
Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
John Oliver
I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
John Oliver
Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
John Oliver
Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
John Oliver
It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
John Oliver
When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
John Oliver
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
John Oliver
If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
John Oliver
I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
John Oliver
I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
John Oliver
