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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Says
Face
Whatever
Demonstrably
Faces
Occasion
Give
Royal
Giving
Queen
Queens
Occasions
More quotes by John Oliver
I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
John Oliver
I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
John Oliver
There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
John Oliver
Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.
John Oliver
Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
John Oliver
I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
John Oliver
Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
John Oliver
I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
John Oliver
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
John Oliver
I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
John Oliver
Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
John Oliver
Americans just don't understand dry wit.
John Oliver
Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
John Oliver
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
John Oliver
I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
John Oliver
I feel non-stop Brit shame!
John Oliver
