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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
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Television Actor
Television Presenter
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John William Oliver
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More quotes by John Oliver
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
John Oliver
I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
John Oliver
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
John Oliver
I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
John Oliver
I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
John Oliver
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
John Oliver
I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
John Oliver
You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
John Oliver
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
John Oliver
You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
John Oliver
I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
John Oliver
A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
John Oliver
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
John Oliver
I would hate to meet myself at 15.
John Oliver
Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
John Oliver
