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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Action
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Stewart
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Deep
Zealand
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Currently
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Wilderness
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Lord
Rings
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Experience
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Oliver

More quotes by John Oliver

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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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