Quote

Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.

John Oliver

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Action
Role
Stewart
Shows
Deep
Zealand
Stills
Roles
Currently
Still
Playing
Wilderness
Live
Lord
Rings
Show
Welcome
Living
John
Experience
Daily
Oliver

More quotes by John Oliver

Image
I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
John Oliver
Image
Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.
John Oliver
Image
I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
John Oliver
Image
Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
John Oliver
Image
There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
John Oliver
Image
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
John Oliver
Image
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
John Oliver
Image
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
Image
If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
John Oliver
Image
When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
John Oliver
Image
Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
John Oliver
Image
I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
John Oliver
Image
One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
John Oliver
Image
The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
John Oliver
Image
I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
John Oliver
Image
You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
Image
I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
John Oliver
Image
News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
John Oliver
Image
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
John Oliver
Image
Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
John Oliver