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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Happens
Car
Right
News
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Happen
Winning
Games
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Shows
More quotes by John Oliver
I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
John Oliver
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
John Oliver
Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
John Oliver
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
John Oliver
I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
John Oliver
Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
John Oliver
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
John Oliver
Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
John Oliver
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
John Oliver
It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
John Oliver
Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
John Oliver
Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.
John Oliver
Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
John Oliver
If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
John Oliver
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
John Oliver
