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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Shows
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Car
Right
News
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More quotes by John Oliver
I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
John Oliver
Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
John Oliver
Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
John Oliver
I feel non-stop Brit shame!
John Oliver
When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
John Oliver
I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
John Oliver
I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
John Oliver
Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
John Oliver
I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
John Oliver
Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
John Oliver
The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
John Oliver
One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
John Oliver
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
John Oliver
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
John Oliver
I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
John Oliver
Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
John Oliver
Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
John Oliver
