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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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News
More quotes by John Oliver
Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
John Oliver
I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
John Oliver
Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
John Oliver
Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
John Oliver
My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
John Oliver
You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
People are friendlier in New York than London.
John Oliver
It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
John Oliver
Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
John Oliver
I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
John Oliver
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
John Oliver
I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
John Oliver
I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
John Oliver
Americans just don't understand dry wit.
John Oliver
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
John Oliver
People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
John Oliver
