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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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Shows
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Right
News
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Winning

More quotes by John Oliver

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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
John Oliver
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
John Oliver
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
John Oliver
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
John Oliver
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
John Oliver
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
John Oliver
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
John Oliver
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
John Oliver
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
John Oliver
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
John Oliver
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
John Oliver
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
John Oliver
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I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
John Oliver
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
John Oliver
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
John Oliver
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
John Oliver
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
John Oliver