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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Right
News
Game
Happen
Winning
Games
Show
Shows
Happens
Car

More quotes by John Oliver

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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
John Oliver
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
John Oliver
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
John Oliver
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
John Oliver
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
John Oliver
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
John Oliver
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
John Oliver
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
John Oliver
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
John Oliver
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
John Oliver
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
John Oliver
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
John Oliver
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
John Oliver
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
John Oliver
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
John Oliver
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
John Oliver