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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Anymore
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News
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Soul
Take
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Life
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More quotes by John Oliver

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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
John Oliver
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
John Oliver
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
John Oliver