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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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More quotes by John Oliver
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
John Oliver
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
John Oliver
I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
John Oliver
You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
John Oliver
Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
John Oliver
Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
John Oliver
Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
John Oliver
I feel non-stop Brit shame!
John Oliver
The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
John Oliver
You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
John Oliver
If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
John Oliver
Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
John Oliver