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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Horrendous
Absolutely
Politician

More quotes by John Oliver

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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
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