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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Horrendous
Absolutely
Politician

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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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