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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Feel
Feels
Brit
Brits
Shame
Stop
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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