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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Vacations
Problematic
Vacation
Relax
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More quotes by John Oliver

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Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
John Oliver