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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Vacations
Problematic
Vacation
Relax
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
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