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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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Vacations
Problematic
Vacation
Relax

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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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