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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Vacations
Problematic
Vacation
Relax
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More quotes by John Oliver

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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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