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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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Vacations
Problematic
Vacation
Relax

More quotes by John Oliver

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I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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