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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Feels
Drain
Every
Sucked
Drains
Empire
Empires
British
Persons
Person

More quotes by John Oliver

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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
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