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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Disappoint
Congress
Capacity
Loses
Never
More quotes by John Oliver
I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
John Oliver
A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
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Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
John Oliver
News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
John Oliver
I would hate to meet myself at 15.
John Oliver
If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
John Oliver
People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
John Oliver
One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
John Oliver
When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
John Oliver
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
John Oliver