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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Capacity
Loses
Never
Disappoint
Congress

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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
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It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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