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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Paid
Fans
Money
Someone
Back
Never
Like
Lending
Mets

More quotes by John Oliver

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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
John Oliver