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A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Southern
Club
Clubs
Accent
Accents
Bags

More quotes by John Oliver

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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
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Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
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There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
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People are friendlier in New York than London.
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Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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