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You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about.

John Mulaney

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John Mulaney
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: August 26
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
John Edmund Mulaney
Expert
Relative
Though
Talking
Even
Really

More quotes by John Mulaney

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I always wanted it to be multi-cam from the beginning. In the first seeds of the idea, I wanted a live audience, multi-cam show. That was very important for me.
John Mulaney
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Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.
John Mulaney
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The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
John Mulaney
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In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it.
John Mulaney
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Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.
John Mulaney
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Everyone's very relaxed about brand names in television.
John Mulaney
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I think for many of us - speaking for just a pocket of the country - we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don't run home and check the nanny cam. But now we've left the baby with Gary Busey, so we're going to be a lot more on it.
John Mulaney
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People having expectations maybe means they've enjoyed what I've done.
John Mulaney
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I've always believed that you often need less. You don't need to hear why people are friends, you don't need to hear why people are roommates, you don't need to hear why someone would help a friend to do something.
John Mulaney
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You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.
John Mulaney
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I wish I could go tell 12-year-old me like I don't worry that you just fainted in front of all the girls, one day you'll be able to make this into an episode of TV.
John Mulaney
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There's [John Mulaney Show] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to have someone just speak extemporaneously in the middle of a scene about an episode of Law and Order or something.
John Mulaney
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I do longer runs on things, a lot stories. I really like one-liners, I like a lot of different kinds of standup but I've always been long-winded.
John Mulaney
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As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don't know, I just got quieter With my friends, I was still an extrovert.
John Mulaney
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A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they are seated to them ordering or taking a sip of a drink, these can make a comedian go harder and faster in a club.
John Mulaney
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The Doula was and is a very, very special episode to me because I think it's very funny and very weird and it also is 100 percent based on my life, in that I fainted three times during Sex Ed in real life the three different years.
John Mulaney
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I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.
John Mulaney
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I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?
John Mulaney
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Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
John Mulaney
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Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.
John Mulaney