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I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don't get a laugh but I love them so they stay.

John Mulaney

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John Mulaney
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: August 26
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
John Edmund Mulaney
Laugh
Laughing
Stay
Stand
Moments
Years
Love
Tons
Jokes

More quotes by John Mulaney

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Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.
John Mulaney
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I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.
John Mulaney
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If I was at the Comedy Cellar at midnight you yelled at the back of the room. But you, for television, play it to the camera because yes you're communicating to the people at home using the studio audience that's right in front of you as a guide for that.
John Mulaney
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I think for many of us - speaking for just a pocket of the country - we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don't run home and check the nanny cam. But now we've left the baby with Gary Busey, so we're going to be a lot more on it.
John Mulaney
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A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they are seated to them ordering or taking a sip of a drink, these can make a comedian go harder and faster in a club.
John Mulaney
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Things don't exist until they exist.
John Mulaney
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I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?
John Mulaney
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The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
John Mulaney
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I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.
John Mulaney
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I also had Elliot Gould and Martin Short and Nasim Pedrad - let alone Zack Pearlman who is going to be a huge star, as is Seaton Smith - out there and I love writing for them and just sitting back and watching them be excellent. And when you are sitting across from Elliott Gould sharing a scene it just raises your game.
John Mulaney
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I like that idea that what I do might be mainstream. Might be.
John Mulaney
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I don't know if there's a strategy really so much as, like I learned doing standup and had to learn fast, you always just try to give your favorite, strongest stuff as early as possible and you start with what you like the most.
John Mulaney
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Maybe I just have high self-esteem, but I have a lot that I really enjoy.
John Mulaney
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The Doula was and is a very, very special episode to me because I think it's very funny and very weird and it also is 100 percent based on my life, in that I fainted three times during Sex Ed in real life the three different years.
John Mulaney
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Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.
John Mulaney
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The best-case scenario is everything goes perfect and smooth, but we're also a new and weird show. So all my conversations were, Hey last night didn't go perfect but we kind of know what we've got in store for everybody episode-wise.
John Mulaney
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Everyone's very relaxed about brand names in television.
John Mulaney
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I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.
John Mulaney
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Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
John Mulaney
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People having expectations maybe means they've enjoyed what I've done.
John Mulaney