Quote

I wish I could go tell 12-year-old me like I don't worry that you just fainted in front of all the girls, one day you'll be able to make this into an episode of TV.

John Mulaney

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

John Mulaney
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: August 26
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
John Edmund Mulaney
Wish
Fainted
Girl
Episode
Tell
Episodes
Able
Fronts
Years
Girls
Make
Front
Like
Worry
Year

More quotes by John Mulaney

Image
I also had Elliot Gould and Martin Short and Nasim Pedrad - let alone Zack Pearlman who is going to be a huge star, as is Seaton Smith - out there and I love writing for them and just sitting back and watching them be excellent. And when you are sitting across from Elliott Gould sharing a scene it just raises your game.
John Mulaney
Image
The best-case scenario is everything goes perfect and smooth, but we're also a new and weird show. So all my conversations were, Hey last night didn't go perfect but we kind of know what we've got in store for everybody episode-wise.
John Mulaney
Image
Things don't exist until they exist.
John Mulaney
Image
Everyone's very relaxed about brand names in television.
John Mulaney
Image
I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don't get a laugh but I love them so they stay.
John Mulaney
Image
Maybe I just have high self-esteem, but I have a lot that I really enjoy.
John Mulaney
Image
I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.
John Mulaney
Image
If I was at the Comedy Cellar at midnight you yelled at the back of the room. But you, for television, play it to the camera because yes you're communicating to the people at home using the studio audience that's right in front of you as a guide for that.
John Mulaney
Image
I don't know if there's a strategy really so much as, like I learned doing standup and had to learn fast, you always just try to give your favorite, strongest stuff as early as possible and you start with what you like the most.
John Mulaney
Image
I've always believed that you often need less. You don't need to hear why people are friends, you don't need to hear why people are roommates, you don't need to hear why someone would help a friend to do something.
John Mulaney
Image
Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
John Mulaney
Image
I like that idea that what I do might be mainstream. Might be.
John Mulaney
Image
Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines
John Mulaney
Image
You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.
John Mulaney
Image
Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.
John Mulaney
Image
I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.
John Mulaney
Image
There's [John Mulaney Show] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to have someone just speak extemporaneously in the middle of a scene about an episode of Law and Order or something.
John Mulaney
Image
I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.
John Mulaney
Image
I think for many of us - speaking for just a pocket of the country - we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don't run home and check the nanny cam. But now we've left the baby with Gary Busey, so we're going to be a lot more on it.
John Mulaney
Image
I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?
John Mulaney