Quote

It was funny to be an emcee, because you're so at the mercy of the club. You can show up for the weekend hoping to get the $400 - and get fired. I had to prank whoever they told me to prank.

John Mulaney

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

John Mulaney
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: August 26
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
John Edmund Mulaney
Club
Whoever
Clubs
Prank
Mercy
Emcee
Told
Pranks
Show
Fired
Funny
Hoping
Shows
Weekend

More quotes by John Mulaney

Image
Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.
John Mulaney
Image
I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?
John Mulaney
Image
I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.
John Mulaney
Image
I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.
John Mulaney
Image
Everyone's very relaxed about brand names in television.
John Mulaney
Image
An episode that is near and dear to my heart is the entire cast in one room for the night because we get bed bugs in our apartment building so we have to stay with Martin Short.
John Mulaney
Image
People having expectations maybe means they've enjoyed what I've done.
John Mulaney
Image
I remember writing standup jokes without having done sets. But as soon as I did my first set, it didn't matter. Everything I thought would work didn't work. And everything I was iffy on was funny.
John Mulaney
Image
Occasionally you get that one person that says I really like that one part of this joke and you go, Oh thank you that's my favorite part too. But no, in order for it to be authentic hopefully you have jokes that everyone can just get on board with and then you have a few things for yourself.
John Mulaney
Image
I wish I could go tell 12-year-old me like I don't worry that you just fainted in front of all the girls, one day you'll be able to make this into an episode of TV.
John Mulaney
Image
Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.
John Mulaney
Image
I think for many of us - speaking for just a pocket of the country - we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don't run home and check the nanny cam. But now we've left the baby with Gary Busey, so we're going to be a lot more on it.
John Mulaney
Image
There's [John Mulaney Show] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to have someone just speak extemporaneously in the middle of a scene about an episode of Law and Order or something.
John Mulaney
Image
I've done festivals in the past where I'd be a guest, it was like, Wow, maybe someday I could play Town Hall - but that'll be a long way off. So it's very exciting.
John Mulaney
Image
A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they are seated to them ordering or taking a sip of a drink, these can make a comedian go harder and faster in a club.
John Mulaney
Image
I don't know if there's a strategy really so much as, like I learned doing standup and had to learn fast, you always just try to give your favorite, strongest stuff as early as possible and you start with what you like the most.
John Mulaney
Image
Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines
John Mulaney
Image
If something is very, very funny but possibly controversial, if it's truly funny, then it's worth doing. Things aren't worth doing for the sake of being controversial.
John Mulaney
Image
You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.
John Mulaney
Image
Things don't exist until they exist.
John Mulaney