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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Allowed
Agree
Hell
Read
Place
Must

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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
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Success is good for the character.
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
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It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
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When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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People will go to endless trouble to divorce one person and then marry someone who is exactly the same, except probably a bit poorer and a bit nastier. I don't think anybody learns anything.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
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Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.
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I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
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Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It's middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
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