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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Models
Unwise
General
Unreliable
Called
Spain
Found
Lunch
True
Sexual
Young
Equality
Come
Model
Suppose

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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
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There is always time for failure
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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
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My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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People will go to endless trouble to divorce one person and then marry someone who is exactly the same, except probably a bit poorer and a bit nastier. I don't think anybody learns anything.
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
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I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
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I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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Success is good for the character.
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