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People will go to endless trouble to divorce one person and then marry someone who is exactly the same, except probably a bit poorer and a bit nastier. I don't think anybody learns anything.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Persons
Exactly
Person
Except
Think
Anybody
Nastier
Thinking
Bits
Poorer
People
Trouble
Learns
Probably
Marry
Someone
Divorce
Anything
Endless

More quotes by John Mortimer

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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
John Mortimer
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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
John Mortimer
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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
John Mortimer
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Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It's middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
John Mortimer
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
John Mortimer
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
John Mortimer
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
John Mortimer
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
John Mortimer
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I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
John Mortimer
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I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
John Mortimer
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When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
John Mortimer
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It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
John Mortimer
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
John Mortimer
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
John Mortimer
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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
John Mortimer
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
John Mortimer
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Success is good for the character.
John Mortimer
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I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
John Mortimer
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Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.
John Mortimer
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
John Mortimer