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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Feels
Really
Always
Success
Think
Better
Thinking
Ever
Everything
Done
Feel

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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.
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Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It's middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
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Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.
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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
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When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
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Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
John Mortimer
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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
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